Have you met your forever person ? Like that person that just won't go away? Or are you being blind to the person that's right in front of your face?
I guess you call them brother, homeboy/homegirl, your boo. That person that you've been through so much with. You may have thought of being with them. Maybe not. Someone who might be forbidden fruit.
In your mind, you may wonder why are they still my friend. Wondering how they know so much about you or deal with you and stay. Or maybe its the other way around.
If you two ever make it official, history says that you two will last. The present question is how do we get to that point. Are we just going through the motions ? You may have never admitted that you like them or love them. Probably never thought about it
Does it make this person your crutch or genuinely someone that'll always be around. COULD THIS BE WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR? Am I looking for something too perfect? He/she isn't perfect but they're perfect for me.
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Someone told me to make a blog about Finding A Man which is a very touchy subject for me. 1. because I'm single and 2. because I don't believe in "finding" a man. The fact that I'm single gave me the push to do this from experience of longing for or knowing what a man should be like once he finds me. I've seen a lot of memes where girls repost like the one above and I seriously doubt girls see the problem. As I write this blog I'm thinking why am I calling them girls and not women. I'll explain that later. As I start to pay attention to the things girls take pride of now. "Girls take pride in saying things such as "girl he knows I'm crazy so he knows not to try me." Or they post memes saying "if she gets mad over every little thing, she's a keeper." And I'm sorry to break it to you but she's not a keeper, she's a child. Bipolar is a mental disorder also known as maniac depression. If you dont have a stable mind then you shouldn't be with a man. If you're always tripping over the little things then when are you ever going to be happy with this man? I truly believe this type of behavior is why side chicks and a domestic violence are so popular these days. What happened to the woman being her man's peace of mind? What happened to her being his serenity? It seems the only way Girls these days knows how to be there for their man is sex. Sex gets old. you wonder why he rather cheats. When I hear side chicks talk they become a side chick because they feel like they can be your man serenity because the first thing he complains about is his girl getting on his nerves. Majority of the time after sex women goes back to the complaining or being "bipolar." Ask yourself what hard-working man wants to come home to a headache or whiny child. Proverbs 18: 22 says "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD." Being crazy and acting like a child is not a good thing. I can't completely go against women, it's the mans fault also. Only things you allow will continue to happen. So the fact that she acts this way and you continue to stay or break up and make up with her is letting her know it's ok. It becomes a habit of girls throwing fits to get their way because they know you're not going anywhere. If you want better you have to do better. Try dating a woman. One that can talk to you instead of belittling you and disrespecting you to get her point across. God said its a woman's job to respect her man. A woman is supposed to be confident, pray for you, be there when everything is bothering you. How can you ever win fighting with things that happen with life and fighting your girl or babysitting her. The mindset of a woman raises your child, is this really who you want to be the mother of your child? Women should have enough respect for themselves to know if you have to be crazy just to get your point across you shouldn't be with him either. Grow up and learn how to make your mans life easier and not just his dick hard. Most people that struggles with rejection are demanding and controlling which is unhealthy for a relationship. Take pride in making him happy and not creating hell in what supposed to be the most comfortable place. Being vulnerable is the beauty of a woman but to act crazy is not what that means. I was reading an article yesterday about why a man should marry a Caucasian woman instead of a woman of another race. Basically the article said white woman knows how to be submissive and let a man be a man. Could you date someone with a child? Dating someone with a child is being a part of the child life. I dont think many people realize you become a factor in a childs life when you date their parent.
I was having a conversation with some friends and everyone has stipulations when it comes to dating someone with a child. Some dont want the child to be over a certain age, the child has to be well behave, or a certain gender. Is it really that serious that you cant love an innocent child like you love their parent? You shouldnt seriously date someone with a child if you are not willing to invest in the child life. If you are not interacting with the child when you're around or not paying attention to the child you need to get out of the situation ASAP. If you cant see yourself loving the child or being a great asset to his/her life you should not date someone with a child. When a single parent decides to let you be a part of their childs life it means they trust you. Im not saying make yourself a parent but do not push the child away or ignore the child. When the child is around it shouldn't feel like an awkward moment. I believe when a single parent dates it makes them feel secure in the relationship when a person aknowledge the child existence. Being that I'm a single parent I can truly say it creates a problem when a relationship is being talked about without my child being involved. Even if the child is not around all the time they still play a part in a relationship. Be careful if you decide to date someone with a child. If there is some kind of void then it is not the situation for you. Whats a good man? You know the man with morals, ambition, keep a level head. The man that makes the right decision no matter the situation. The man who respects themselves and everything around them.
You've probably heard on more than one occasion of a woman being head over heels for a man because he does whatever she says. Thats a good man right? My question is do a "good" man set himself up for failure in a relationship. Ive recently had a conversation with a guy friend and he was saying "if I get someone pregnant, im marrying her." In most people mind they might think "he's a good man for thinking this way" but in my mind, im thinking "why?" Im not knocking his way of thinking but do the decision make him a good man or a fool for trying to live up to what would be accepted? I mean the question "Why?" was followed by "Do you love her?", "What if she's not the one for you?" Dating a "good" guy is great but if a woman dont give him all he needs but he continues to do whats right even though its not completely sincere, he can resent the woman eventually. Sometimes "good" men sacrifice or make decisions based off the way things "supposed" to go. They may realize that the woman doesn't complete them but they do things accordingly because relationships supposed to last right? At times, it can be hard to date a good man because they hold back the complete truth out of fear of hurting a woman feelings. For instance, a guy I know met a female in a time in his life where he was felt he was ready to settle down. He settled alright. She didnt want to stay in her apartment building anymore so he bought an apartment knowing he couldnt afford that or wasn't ready for that step. She wanted a baby, he tried to give her one and wasn't ready but that was his woman anything she desired, he gave. Does that make him a fool or a "good" man? You don't have to be a "yes" man or live up to society to be a "good" man. Its ok to do whats best for you. The problem is being selfish and the way you handle a situation that will make you less of a man. Do what makes you happy, respect the woman but dont become a fool and miserable. Even if you want your life to go a certain way, do not settle. Make sure you are happy and complete. You shouldnt have to change who you are just to keep someone in your life. Love is being accepted for who you are and wanting whats best for a person even if its not you whose best. Dont compromise your hapiness!!! In your mid-twenties and early 30s older people are telling you that it's time to settle down. Everyone in your age group is living day to day because they still figure they are too young to settle down. So what do a person do when they have their priorities in order and refuse to look for a man ? Seems like everyone in your age group that you run into isn't doing anything with their life but you have hope because you know you're not the only one succeeding. You wonder to yourself is success considered the new "love?"
People trying to follow their dreams are more concerned with their dreams than being with anyone. So how are you ever going to be with your deserving significant other ? They may start a friendship with benefits but you know they'll never try to be more. Once they achieve their dreams of being a rapper, actor, or CEO you're are now looked down on because you choose to work a normal job. Working a job like construction, probation, or manager of a establishment making roughly 30k a year is looked down on. The question is why? These are positions you may have worked hard to get and is actually happy yet people making more thinks less of you. You start to question if you are ever going to be good enough. The hurt of a woman who may be sleeping with a man who tells her he's not ready and can't look at her that way. She's seeing the greatness in him and only have eyes for him yet he's paying attention to everyone except her, the woman he's sleeping with. Now that she's feels invisible other than that phone call for sex how can she keep hope alive ? Being a single mother makes her a statistic. She loves her child but have a desire to be married one day. Society can make her feel low for taking care of her responsibility. She's asked"what did you save for your husband?" Yet other woman are jumping from one man's bed to another. They're killing children just to still holler "team no kids." Leading her to think sometimes would it have been better if she had that abortion? Killing a innocent child because as long as she doesn't have a child she would be desired to the successful man she wants. Would it be worth it? Or would she still be single without a child? Maybe being African American and majority of men in her ethnicity are locked up. Why should she have to wait for one to be released? Why does she have to date the drug dealer or the man that only sees "making it" is having an occupation in the entertainment business or sports. Does she smother herself with student loans just to have more degrees so she can make more money that only goes to paying off Sallie Mae? You ask why she lose hope? She's looked down on for being a mother, happy, a blue collar worker. She's pressured to change everything she is just to be seeked by a man she's deserving of. She's not a girl who hangs out. She lives her life day by day. Work, church, and taking care of her child. Isn't a woman supposed to be seen and not heard? She's supposed to have a relationship with God. The fact she doesn't go out to be apart of society how can a man find her? The men that has found her are looking pass her. Every man wants a good girl right? She's a great girl that actually happy with herself. She's not perfect but she's trying. Can't you tell she's trying? She has the degree, take care of her child, mature enough not to go out everytime the wind blows, she has a relationship with God. Yet is this not enough? Ask yourself again why is she losing hope on being found ? This post was my first time writing something. the grammar not so good but enjoy !!!
I feel this chemistry for u like we're magnetic I sing the words " i gotta thang for you" Im happy to say it because I know you know it In the beginning I told you my wants and needs But when you spoke yours I felt it wasn't directed towards me So now i gotta feel you in slow motion I use to can ask you the little things like what you up to But now if i ask you feel like Im being to up on you I miss telling you the little things like i miss you or im thinking about you I hate when you ask "why" like you dont feel im being true But things you say make me feel the same way So now i have to second that notion Because all that does is make me open up in slow motion Being your woman is all i desire Your swag is what sets my soul on fire Its so hard to show you i really want you When all it seems is I can only get one thing outta you At times i get furious because you know i want to be your chick I never ever said i just wanted your dick So why cant you keep it real with me and just tell me You don't want what i want So i can face reality And get over you in slow motion Im to smart to let my emotions get the best of me This flaw stuff you say really don't bother me The pet names like beautyful and baby Well all i gotta say is i been grown so those lil things dont excite me I sit and listen to "only One" by Cherish Cause It makes me think of us But honesty is a must Im not too big on showing my emotions But this really got me trusting you in slow motion You seen the text, read the poems, loved the signature Still you ignore the signs that Im falling for you You say you care and have feelings for me But i always end up asking myself will this ever be Im at the point where ill do what i have to do Jus to see us through But if you take me for a fool And think Im bout to give up to you What Im holding on to No thank you i rather be your friend Because I dont live my life in slow motion I want someone with me in the fast lane As a lover, my betta half, and friend Through thick and thin Question of the day :
WOULD YOU MARRY YOURSELF ? Too many people want what they don't even possess but is that a bad thing? I've heard successful people who were fully establish say only thing they want is everything they lack. To some people a college degree, good credit, and a sweet person is enough. So to the person who has that most of the time it's not enough. I'm about to list questions that will help you take a good look at yourself and what will help you answer the question above. This exercise will also help you understand things like do you trust yourself What do you WANT from the person you're seeking to be with forever? What do you NEED the person to bring to the table ? What do you bring to the table in a relationship? What do you lack in a relationship? What would make you leave? Do you love with your heart or your head? Are you looking to be a asset or a liability to a person? What would make you cheat? Would you cheat? In a disagreement, do you only see things from your point of view or do you look at things from both sides? How do you want to be loved? This is not for you to lower your standards but to be more considerate and learn to compromise? Always remember need settle for what you feel you don't deserve !!! The other day i heard two woman having a conversation. The older woman was talking about teaching a man what you like while a younger woman said "I don't have time for that." I chuckled because I'm always preaching that everyone doesn't like the same thing. The question that came to my head is " If we are being graded during sex, How do we know if we are passing or failing?"
Unless you communicate you will never know if you are actually great. Chemistry is the key to great sex. Chemistry is all about timing and communication. When I say timing I mean making the person earn and learn you. Of course, you might want to have sex with that person but do you really WANT that person? You ever talked to someone so long but there was never any kind of physical touch and that left you wondering "what would it be like?" That's when you start really WANTING that person. Communication is of course getting to know each other wants and needs. The first time everyone have sex they are being graded even if its not intentional. I agree with the older woman if you really like this person you should try and teach the person what you like. The art of sex is all about pleasing your partner. Touching them in places they may have never been touch. Kissing them in places that set them on fire. Its not all about getting straight to it, especially for a woman. Ever kissed a woman under her navel and went back up to her neck ? That is you making her want you even more. Teasing may sound childish but it stimulates your mind. I asked a question on Twitter " Where are your hands during sex?" Believe it or not if most people look like a dummy doll during sex. Your hands on the side of you while your partner do the work. Rub and caressing your partner is pure motivation. When your partner comes through the door don't go straight to the bed. Kiss them while their back is against the wall. Touch on them, show them that you've been waiting for that moment. If aggression is not your thing try cuddling first. Sex is great after cuddling and cuddling is great after sex. Have a intimate conversation while straddling your man before sex. Play fight it is all about being indirect at first because believe me doing all this somebody is thinking about taking it to the next level. Being around someone you want is a constant battle in deciding when the time is right. So even if he/her is over there initially for sex make them feel wanted and needed. Do not just jump to it. It all comes down to feelings wanted. One mood killer is not being confident. Even if your partner isn't 100% confident during sex the fact that you make them feel wanted can make that all go away. Compliments during sex never hurt anyone. Everyone doesn't like aggressive sex and everyone do not like slow, sensual sex. I guarantee if you create chemistry and make your partner feel wanted you two will figure out the art of sex when it comes to you two being intimate. |
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